Resentment Breeding Grounds

"My wife is so wrapped up in her work that she never listens to me."
"When I suggested a weekend trip to celebrate our anniversary, my husband listed all the reasons we couldn't get away."

These experiences in couple relationships are breeding grounds for resentment. Frequently, to avoid conflict, someone in the relationship decides not to say anything and retreats into cold silence while their partner yells and complains.

Not surprisingly, both of these relationship styles result in verbal attacks, hostile humor and less intimacy.

"This is just one more example of having to do things your way."

"You never listen to me!"

The willingness to listen with the intention of seeing how it feels to be in your partner's shoes can be almost miraculous.

Counseling is an effective way to develop communication tools to repair past resentments and build fun-loving and intimate relationships.

Declare a CEASE-FIRE!

Do you ever have those times you just want to "fire-up" at someone...in the workplace, at home, your friend, your partner, the clerk in the store? You may even have thought of exactly what you want you say to attack, put down, accuse, and/or make wrong! Each of us has had these experiences.

What do you think might happen if you showed some understanding and compassion? Maybe took a few deeps breaths before you reacted?

1. First of all, you would be reinforcing the compassionate part of your brain instead of the judgmental parts.
2. You would lower your blood pressure.
3. You would probably feel better about the ways you are treating others.

Try it out!