Re-Connecting After an Affair

"My wife/husband/partner just found out about my affair. I don't want to lose this relationship. What can I do?"

• Recognize that re-building trust takes a long time.
• Be patient.
• Be pro-active in reading books about affairs and start the repair process.
• Start couples therapy to understand what was not working in the relationship.
• Learn and practice new tools to communicate and relate effectively.
• Schedule regular couple time together, such as a daily walk, weekly lunch, or playing tennis.
• Commit to re-creating a better relationship.

Couples and Conflicts

"My partner is always picking fights, and I'll do anything to avoid conflict. How can I stop him/her from all this arguing?"

Have you ever met anyone who loves conflict?! Avoiding all conflicts simply leads to resentments that get expressed by "forgetting" to keep agreements and other indirect methods. The key to successfully dealing with conflict is to find ways to work it through.

• Identify the issues.
• Express your ideas respectfully.
• Listen to your partner with the goal of understanding.
• Brainstorm solutions
• Take action and re-evaluate.